For some reason I felt compelled to return back to my blog today after a very long absence. I think part of me thought that I would never come back to this blog, but that part of me was wrong. This morning I spent my usual quiet time reading old posts that I had written. Then I spent an equal, if not greater amount of time, thanking God for his goodness and asking him to forgive me for allowing seeds of doubt to enter my mind. It is so amazing to see how God works. He sees the whole picture from beginning to end while we are here trying to muddle through life one day at a time.
I have spent the last few weeks and days filled with all different kinds of emotions. There have been days that I have been filled with fear and dispair over what the future will hold. Then I am reminded of the goodness of God and all of His promises. I am once again filled with hope and joy of the future.
As I may have mentioned before, my husband and I have spent our entire married life trusting in God for provision. Except for the first few years when I was working "a real job", we have relied on God to provide for our needs. We have had good times and bad times financially, and God has been there every step of the way.
We have recently come to one of those times in our lives where we just have to let go, and let God. (There is the title of my book again sneaking its way into my thoughts...Yes, God, I am listening!) Anyway, when you come to a crossroad in life and things seem impossible in the natural, I have found that if you put your trust in Him...the one who created the heavens and the earth, the one who sent his only son to die for us, the one who numbers the hairs on our heads and the grains of sand on the earth...He will never let you down! I am at such a point in my life right now. I am making a full surrender to Him because I know that I can not do this on my own, but I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
I have never felt such hope and joy for the future as I do right now. If you knew some of the circumstances going on in our life right now, you would know just how ridiculous that statement sounds, but it is true. Even Jesus cried out to God when he was on the cross and said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matt. 15:34). I think God allowed that to happen so that Jesus would be able to experience the same feelings that we have from time to time. However, as we all know, God was there all the time. He sees us struggling, and I believe it pains him. But I also believe that He allows us to experience some things in life so that we can learn to really trust Him.
That is where I am right now. I am trusting Him. I am not afraid of the future or what it may hold. I am excited to see what God has in store next. I KNOW it is good.
Thank you for reading. I don't know if this if for any of you, or just for me, but I felt compelled to write - even though I have a million other things I could or should be doing. If this post spoke to you in any way, please let me know. If it did, please stay tuned. I believe there is a really big testimony coming soon....you don't want to miss it!
